Cwmderi Diary 2018: 12 December 2018 (1st)

"There's no point in you and Britt being apart"

As Garry remove the protest poster in the Deri, he tells Colin there is no point in him and Britt being apart;

Colin will try to charm her back

Colin is planning a special meal for the two of them, and is sure he will be able to charm her into getting back together. He has a ‘two for one’ voucher for Cwm Delhi, and says, “I’m lost without her – life is not worth living without Britt!”

"Have you got the receipt for the T-shirts?"

At that moment she comes in and ignores Colin completely; she is on her way to pick up the darts team T-shirts from town.

"Come out with me for a meal tonight"

“This has gone on long enough – I’ve got something to ask you,” Colin begins, “Come out with me tonight for a slap-up meal – a chance to talk over a curry.”

"There's a big darts match on tonight!"

She is more concerned about the big darts match tonight;

"We don't want those snobs looking down their noses at Cwmderi!"

she does not want ‘The Blacks’ snobs looking down their noses at Cwmderi, and rushes off.

Iori seems to be doing nicely

Iori seems to be doing a steady trade at his stall in the High Street

"Ah – a Christmas card, is it?"

when Dai comes out of APD with a letter for Iori from Diane. He tells the customer at the stall, “Make the most of this – he won’t be here for long!” Iori has other ideas, and tears the letter into pieces.

"Have you phoned your sister's children?"

Debbie appears, and asks if he had a chance to phone his sister’s children; he replies that he had a long chat, and his niece asked him spend Christmas with her, up in Bala.

I shall have to practise my North Walian accent!"

“I shall have to practise my North Walian accent – I’m going to buy hampers to take with me!” he says.

"I hope you have a fab time"

Debbie hopes that he has a fab time.

"His partner's left him – isn't that right?"

In the café, Colin asks Kelly for a large coffee, and Dai explains Colin’s long face; “His partner’s left him – isn’t that right?”

"Sorry, Colin, I didn't know"

Kelly is very sorry, as she did not know.

"What do you expect me to do – slurp it out of the jug?"

Then Dani comes in, and scolds Dai for drinking his coffee from a disposable cup; “What do you expect me to do? Slurp it out of the jug?” he snarls.

"I know you think I'm annoying!"

“I know you think I’m annoying, but it’s important!” Dani replies, “One day we’ll realise we’ve messed up – we’ve got this amazing planet that we’re destroying!”

"I just want Britt back!"

Colin despondently changes his mind, “I don’t want coffee – or anything else – I just want Britt back!” and he sadly goes.

"I want everybody to do their bit"

“I didn’t mean to upset him,” Dani continues, “All I want is for everybody to do their bit.”

"My profits would take a hammering!"

Kelly points out that her profits would take a hammering if it was not for take-outs,

"The planet is taking a hammering!"

but Dani maintains that the planet is taking a hammering.

“We’re not all married to Moneybags Monk!” Kelly exclaims,

"Just change how you serve it"

and Dani maintains she is not trying to stop them serving coffee, but only to change how they serve it.

By this time, Kelly is becoming angry; “Why don’t you change your ways and do something to help?” she demands,

"Constantly bad-mouthing people!"

“Instead of constantly bad-mouthing people?”

"You tell her, Kelly!"

Dai is clearly on Kelly’s side here, as Dani flounces out of the café.

Kath is giving everyone chutney for Christmas

At Maes-y-Deri, Kath announces that all her Christmas shopping is done, and produces numerous jars of Cae Glas chutney; “Staff discount,” she tells Debbie,

"Iori is ordering hampers for his sisters family"

who informs her that Iori is ordering hampers for his sister’s family.

“I dread to think what the postage is going to be for those,” says Kath, but Debbie replies that he is taking them with him.

"His sister and her family live in Australia"

“To Australia?” Kath demands, “His sister and her family live in Australia – I remember them going.”

This is news to Debbie

Debbie realises he has been lying to her, then Kath’s phone sounds.

Britt phones Kath

It is Britt, who is out shopping [actually in King Square, Holton Road, Barry], and advises that Anita is working tonight, so Kath is required to play darts instead of her;

"We won't have a full team without you"

“Please – we won’t have a full team without you! I’m on my way home.”

She is captivated by the song

Britt sees a man busking in the square; he sings, (in English)

“I’ve got a feeling this year’s for me and you –

So happy Christmas, I love you, baby.

I can see a better time when all our dreams come true.”

She is moved to give him £5

Britt adds a £5 note to all the small change, and walks away.

"Have you bought the hamper yet?"

Debbie gives Iori a cup of tea at Maes-y-Deri , and asks, “Tell me, have you bought the hamper for your niece yet?” He replies that there is plenty of time, and she enquires, “Where exactly does she live?”

“Near the lake, a lovely spot, by Llyn Tegid,” Iori tells her,

"I didn't know there was a Llyn Tegid in Australia!"

but she was unaware that there was a Llyn Tegid in Australia.

“That’s where she lives, isn’t it? They’ve been there for years, according to Kath,” Debbie continues,

"I had better go – you're a busy woman"

and he says that he had better go, as she is busy woman, and he does not want to be under her feet.

"There's no shame in being lonely"

“You don't have any Christmas plans, do you?” she demands, “There’s no shame in being lonely.”

He recalls that he was like her at one time, always busy, something on the go; “Family, relatives and friends – you think it’s going to last for ever.

"Life starts slipping through your hands"

“But slowly, life starts slipping through your hands.” Debbie feels very sympathetic towards him, as he goes on, “The only company I have these days are four walls –

"You try three days without talking to anyone"

“you try spending three days without talking to anyone.”

"Kath snoring like a pig on the sofa!"

Debbie says that nobody should be on their own; “Come to us on Christmas Day – we’ll have fun – drinking, eating, playing games – Kath snoring like a pig on the sofa!” Iori insists he does not want to be invited out of pity, but she says they enjoy his company.

"How would you like a different Christmas this year?"

He agrees to come, but asks, “How would you like a different Christmas this year?

Quite a crowd has gathered

Several people have gathered around the busker, and Britt returns, carrying a cup of coffee;

"That was lovely!"

she tells him, “That was lovely,” and introduces herself to him; he says that his name is Neville,

"I could listen to you all day"

and she gives him the cup of coffee. “I could listen to you all day,” she continues, “That song brought a tear to my eyes – it was really special. It was Teg’s, my husband’s, favourite song – he died years ago. When I was listening to you, singing that, it was as if he was standing right next to me.”

"Music can touch a person"

Neville points out that music can touch a person, and is told that his accent sounds just like Teg; “Do you know what?

"You should be playing proper gigs"

“You should be playing proper gigs, not freezing out here.” He replies that it is too much of a commitment, and he prefers to follow his nose and see where fate takes him.

"Aren't you going to stay for the darts?"

Hywel is about to leave the Deri, despite Garry’s entreaties to stay and watch the darts match,

After one sight of Cassie, Hywel changes his mind

but then he notices Cassie, and thinks that he will have another pint.

"Where's the captain, then?"

Kath arrives for the darts and grumbles that the team captain is not there yet; Garry points out that the opposing team has also been waiting for ages.

Britt hands out the team's shirts

Just then, Britt hurries in and produces the T-shirts for the team, which consists of Madge, Gwyneth, Kath and herself.

"He's got more than darts in his case!"

Colin says that he has been worried about Britt, and Kath wonders who she has brought along with her; “He’s got more than darts in his case!” she comments. Britt introduces their special guest, Neville, who is going to entertain them.

Colin eyes Neville suspiciously

Colin looks somewhat suspicious of him.

"Jim is opening the landfill, not me"

Dani is distributing leaflets with information on how to be ‘Green’, but Dai complains, “Aren’t you aware that it’s Jim who is opening the landfill, not me?”

"I'm sure APD has room for improvement"

She is sure that APD has room for improvement; Dai assumes that Jim has been spreading lies about him, and she tries to keep her temper under control as she explains she is only asking for him to make a few changes.

"What's the carbon footprint of that huge camper van?"

“You’re a good one to talk!” he snorts, “What’s the carbon footprint of that huge camper van you’ve got?

"Burning diesel like it's going out of fashion!"

“You’re the one burning diesel like it’s going out of fashion!

"Listen up, Swampy!"

“Listen up, Swampy! Look closer to home before pointing the finger!

"Printing this stuff isn't 'Green' either!"

“And apart from the colour, printing all this stuff isn’t ‘Green’ either!”

A study in concentration

As Gwyneth concentrates on throwing her dart, Hywel comments that he thought Cassie would be part of the team, but she admits that she does not live here.

"You were quite good at hitting the bullseye!"

He smiles, “As I remember, you were quite good at hitting the bullseye!” Cassie is glad to hear that he is as cheesy as ever.

Britt is becoming rather vociferous

Britt is becoming rather vociferous in her support of the team, and is told by Gwyneth to quieten down; she goes to fetch Neville another drink,

"Who is he, Britt?"

and Garry asks her who he is.

"He's the entertainment"

“He’s the entertainment – he’ll do a set after the darts,” she replies.

Colin views him with apprehension

Colin is looking increasingly troubled.

Dani has suffered a fit of conscience

Upstairs in the flat, Dani is working on the online sale of the camper van; the asking price appears to be a rather unconventional £13,658.

"I have no choice, Garry!"

When Garry comes up to ask her to assist him, he sees the laptop screen, and she tells him that she has no choice;

How can I persuade people to be 'Green'?"

“How can I persuade people to be ‘Green’ if I spread diesel fumes? I’m just gutted that it was Dai who pointed it out to me – Dai 1 - Dani 0!”

He knows that the camper van is important to her;

"If it has to go, it has to go"

“But if it has to go, it has to go,” he concedes.

"Seren did a lot of growing up in that van"

She recalls that it is special to Seren, too, as she did a lot of growing up in that van. “But you’ll have the memories, and the photos – at least, your conscience will be clear,” he reminds her.

The advertisement is posted online . . .

She posts the advert with a sigh,

. . . and Garry cannot disguise his jubilation

and Garry looks quite elated.

Kath takes careful aim

The darts match has reached its climax as Kath takes careful aim, and Colin chooses this moment to try and talk to Britt;

"I'm here to enjoy myself, not to chat with you!"

“I said not now!” she snarls, “Leave me alone – I’m here to enjoy myself, not to chat with you!” With her first dart, Kath scores nothing,

"Come on, Kath – double top!"

and is encouraged by Gwyneth to concentrate, as she must get a double top now,

Kath manages to deliver the very same

which is what she manages to do.

There is jubilation among the Cwmderi team, and they all hug each other;

Colin tries to look pleased

Colin tries to give the impression of congratulating them, and Neville strikes up the music. Britt, in her usual extrovert manner, begins dancing.

"I don't want to face Eileen with a hangover"

Kath decides to leave, as she does not want to face Eileen with a hangover in the morning.

"Nefi wen! I came in for a quiet pint"

Dai comes in, complaining, “Nefi wen! I came in for a quiet pint!” Garry offers him a free pint; “Thanks to you, it’s ta-ta camper van!”

Colin becomes more despondent

Colin watches the festivities, with increasing disillusionment.

Hywel thinks that he will go home, but Cassie points out that it is just hotting up in the Deri;

"Things could start hotting up at home!"

“Things could start hotting up at home too, if you want,” he suggests, “Come on!”

"We beat them!"

Kath arrives home, boasting of their win, and Debbie calls Ricky downstairs; Iori says that Debbie cooked him some lovely egg and chips. “I’ve got news for you,” Debbie announces, “Iori’s taking us all away over Christmas –

"A luxury cottage holiday!"

“a luxury cottage holiday.”

"I don't want you forking out for us"

Kath does not want him forking out for a holiday for them, but he insists, “I don’t want any protests – you Joneses have transformed my life, and this holiday is my way of saying thank you.”

"Let's have a celebration drink!"

Kath is keen to have some bubbles to celebrate the fact that they are going on holiday, and Iori looks very pleased with himself.

Hywel wasted no time in getting Cassie into bed

Cassie comes downstairs in Hywel’s house, looking somewhat disappointed;

"Are you leaving?"

Hywel follows, buttoning his shirt, and is surprised that she is leaving.

"I'm fine – but you're not!"

“I think I’d better go,” she says, “Take care, Hywel. I’m fine – but you’re not. What was all that about?”

"Tonight was meant to be a bit of fun!"

He maintains that tonight was meant to be a bit of fun; “But it meant more to you – you’re looking for comfort – this isn’t the way to get over Sheryl.”

He protests that is not what he is trying to do;

"I can still read you like a book, Hywel!"

“We may be older, but I can still read you like a book,” she warns him, “You’re looking for someone to take away the pain, but that’s not me. I shouldn’t have come here tonight – it was my fault. We’ll pretend that tonight never happened –

"I'd prefer to remember us as we were"

“I’d prefer to remember you and me as we were.” She turns and leaves.

Britt is still energetically cavorting

In the Deri, Neville is still playing his guitar, and Britt is cavorting around, as Colin sits by the bar, looking depressed.

"It's closing time, everybody!"

Garry advises everyone that it is closing time, and would like Neville to come back some time.

Colin does not look particularly cheerful

Neville replies that there are good vibes around here.

"Nev can take me home!"

Colin wants to take Britt home, but she tells him, “Nev can take me home. A nightcap? The children will be in bed.”

"I'll phone for a taxi from there"

He says he will phone for a taxi from there, as the last bus has gone. Colin introduces himself as Britt’s partner,

"Not exactly – we've separated"

but she corrects him, “Not exactly – we’ve separated.”

"You can stay with me"

Then she turns back to Neville, “You’re not spending the money you made on a taxi! You can stay with me – go and get your stuff!”

Colin demands what she is doing;

"Please don't do this, Britt!"

“You can’t take him home – you don't know him! Please don’t do this, Britt!”

Colin is left alone

but she takes no notice and leaves with Neville.

Colin is still protesting, but Garry points out, “You should accept that Britt’s moved on – I haven’t seen her so happy in ages. That’s what she’s like, Col – she falls in love and then moves on – perhaps you should do the same.”