Cwmderi Diary 2018: 17 January 2018

Britt cannot wait for Colin to start his assignment

Britt is encouraging Colin to set about his task; “I bet they don’t know anything about brewing – they’re as daft as each other.

"Just repeat what you read on the Internet

“All you have to do is repeat what you read on the Internet.”

"Well, they're drinking something up there!"

He wonders how he will get both of them to drink, as DJ has said that the beer is not ready yet.

“Well, they’re drinking something up there!” Britt rages,

"Remember to take photos"

“Maybe it’s Mathew’s home-made wine – you have to get them to trust you, and remember to take photos, or there’s no point.”

Britt gives him his phone

He almost forgets to take his phone with him, and she warns him to turn the volume and flash off.

Colin is now in spy mode

“You need to think like a spy!”

Elgan meets Non in the street,

Garry wants to see Elgan

just after he has received a text from Garry, telling him to call in at the Deri. He says to her, “It’s not too long left now until the operation –

"I think you're being very brave"

“you should feel proud of yourself, I think you’re being very brave.

"You're doing more than helping Mark"

“And doing more than helping Mark – the money saved on dialysis treatment is huge. Gaynor told me it wasn’t an easy decision for you.”

Non is disappointed that he has been talking

Non is upset that Gaynor talked about it to him, but Elgan says that a doctor knows how to keep a secret;

"And a head teacher, supposedly!"

“Yes – and a head teacher supposedly!” comments Non. He is sure that she will be right as rain in no time.

Non comes round the corner . . .

She continues walking, and is surprised to see a caravan in the yard behind APD;

. . . and meets Josh

“Josh? I recognise you from Debbie's photos,” she says, and introduces herself as Non.

"You're the reason I'm here"

He says that she is the reason for him being here;

"Pleased to meet you!"

he is very pleased to meet her.

Colin arrives at Bryntirion, and Dai explains that Diane is not there;

Dai made sure that Diane would not be there

“We don’t want the world and his wife seeing what we’re doing.”

"Concentrate on the aroma and tasting"

Colin points out that they need to concentrate first on the aroma and tasting.

"We shouldn't be tasting anything yet"

DJ argues that they should not taste anything, as it has only been three weeks since the first brew;

"Not brewing, DJ – mashing!"

Colin corrects him, “Not brewing, DJ – mashing!”

Dai once again reminds him that they are on Dry January,

"I'd better taste a drop, then"

so Colin concludes that he had better taste a drop, just to see what it is like. DJ is reluctant to pour any of it, and Dai emphasises that they are here to discuss the science, not to have a ‘session’;

"Come this way, Colin"

they lead Colin out to the garage.

He gives his phone a quick check

Colin surreptitiously checks the settings on his phone.

"How did you get on last night?"

Debbie brings some leftover food from the café for Vicky, who reports that they had a lovely meal last night, and thanks her mother for looking after Nicky. “It was nice to spend time together –

"I think he's getting back to normal now"

“Mathew’s behaviour has been weird lately, but I think he is getting back to normal now.”

Debbie tells her not to forget the recycling, as Kelly has been going on and on about it.

"Can you leave Kelly in charge downstairs?"

Then Kath arrives, asking them both to come over to Maes-y-Deri, as she has a surprise; “Come with me and you’ll find out.”

"Haven't had a drink for three and a half weeks"

In the Deri, Elgan proudly announces to Garry that he has not had a drink for three and a half weeks;

"You should have done this Dry January"

Garry comments that he should have done this Dry January with Dai and DJ, and thinks that it is a good idea for anyone going through a hard time to keep off the alcohol.

“Are you are going to see anyone today?” Garry asks;

"I'm going to Cardiff for the first appointment"

he is told that the doctor is going to Cardiff for the first appointment, and is rather nervous about it. He has told many people to talk to somebody, but now he is the patient.

"I went for anger management"

Garry confirms that it is worth it; “I went for anger management – I had a bad temper at the time, and I was not a nice person. I’m no saint now, but I benefited from it, and I’m sure you will too. What are you doing tonight after you’ve been?

"Do you fancy a curry?"

“Dani and Carol are going to see Iolo and Tyler, so do you fancy a curry?”

Josh has a large joint of meat

At Maes-y-Deri, Josh has a large piece of meat and needs a roasting tin; “I’m going to cook us a feast! A real celebration before you both go to hospital next week.”

Debbie greets her father

Debbie comes in and is surprised to see her father, and Vicky informs him that she is living with Mathew now.

"What meat have you got there?"

Josh tells them that he has a haunch of deer, which came from Margam Park, or that is what the man told him.

"Well, I got it from a bloke in a pub"

Mark was under the impression that they were not allowed to hunt deer in Margam Park, but Josh got it from a bloke in a pub in Cimla [on the outskirts of Neath], and he did not like to ask too many questions.

“That’s venison, isn’t it,” asks Kath, “I think I like venison – I’ll try it, anyway.”

"Not if it reminds me of Bambi!"

Vicky turns up her nose, and refuses to eat anything that reminds her of Bambi,

"I don't like venison"

and Non says she does not like venison.

"You'll change your tune after it's cooked"

“You’ll change your tune after you’ve seen it cooked,” Josh confidently predicts.

"You've got a good set-up here!"

In the garage at Bryntirion, Colin praises the setup they have, and says that it is a pity they cannot have a taste;

"What are those bottles there?"

“What are those bottles over there?” DJ explains that they are Mathew’s home-made wine. “This is the exact same set up that I had in Lampeter,” Colin goes on, “I used to win prizes for my wine and beer. I’m not doing this Dry January, so pass me a bottle!”

Colin sniffs the wine, knowledgeably

Colin sniffs at the wine, and Dai scoffs at him, “What are you, Col, a man or a dog? What’s all this sniffing?” Colin replies that it is important to do this right, if they want to be connoisseurs like him.

"Lovely!"

He swills some wine round in his mouth, and pronounces it, “Lovely! I would say that this kit is a good one,”

They are almost convinced by the expert

and DJ anticipates that the beer should turn out to be good as well.

"This is top notch – you have to taste it!"

Colin expects it to be wonderful, as he takes another swig of the wine; “This is top notch, boys – you have to taste it!”

"Not until the end of January"

Dai and DJ still maintain that they must wait until the end of January.

"There's money to be made from microbreweries"

“Have you ever thought of making money out of this?” Colin enquires, “There’s potential here – there is money to be made from microbreweries – and I could help you set it up. The most important thing is how to taste it properly.”

"You don't have to teach a cat how to drink milk!"

Dai protests, “You don’t have to teach a cat how to drink milk! We can taste beer perfectly well.” Colin says that he is talking about a professional taster, not some slapdash affair.

"Swirl it round a bit . . ."

“I can give you some tips now, on the wine – but you don’t swallow it – you taste it, swirl it round a bit,

". . . then spit it out"

“then spit it out. No-one will see you here, and I’m not going to tell anyone.” He takes another swig of the wine.

They are still not willing to try it

Josh has completed his cooking, but meets with some resistance; neither Vicky or Non want any, but Debbie suggests a takeaway from Cwm Delhi. Vicky confirms that they had a lovely meal there last night.

Now Josh is expected to pay for a takeaway

“I’ve paid for venison – and now I’m paying for a takeaway!” complains Josh.

Debbie lists everyone's requirements

Debbie makes a list of what everyone wants,

"I'll go down to Cwm Delhi"

and Josh says he will take the list down to Cwm Delhi; he asks Kath to accompany him.

Why does he need the café keys?

He picks up the café keys as he goes out of the back door.

"It's only natural, isn't it?"

Elgan and Garry are enjoying their curry; Elgan says that he texted Gaynor, but she will want to know exactly how it went.

'It means as much to her as it does to me"

“It means as much to her as it does to me. They’re arranging for me to go to a centre in Shropshire – I suppose that it’s one step at a time.

"It's a matter of confidence"

“I’m looking forward to going back to work, but it’s a matter of confidence.”

"You helped Mark on Christmas Day"

Garry reminds him that he helped Mark on Christmas Day, but Elgan recalls that he messed up completely when speaking to Non this morning.

Josh is making venison curry . . .

In the café kitchen, Josh is making a curry out of the venison, and Kath admires his expertise; he is going to get everything else from Cwm Delhi.

. . . and goes to Cwm Delhi for all the rest

She maintains that they make a good team.

The wine-tasting is in full swing

Dai and DJ have finally succumbed to Colin’s blandishments, and are tasting wine, then spitting it into a bucket.
“You need to drink it slowly, savour every drop, just to see if you can get a trace of ginger,” Colin advises.

"You need to drink it slowly"

“To be honest, you’ll get a better taste if the air doesn’t touch the wine; try a mouthful or two straight from the bottle!”

He tries to point the camera roughly in in the right direction

Then he tells them his shoelace is undone, stoops down and tries to direct his phone camera in the general direction of the two of them.

Dai is putting the wine away enthusiastically

Dai has by this time decided to give in to temptation.

Josh consults the doctor with his ailments

Josh has collected his order at Cwm Delhi, and comes over to the table where Elgan and Garry are sitting. “I’m not usually one who goes to see a doctor, but now I’ve seen you, I’ve got some white spots at the back of my throat. I could be coming down with tonsillitis.”

The doctor assures him that white spots in the throat are quite common,

"You could pay him a home visit"

and Garry suggests that he could perhaps give Josh a home visit.

"I'll visit you tomorrow"

“I’ll visit the caravan tomorrow,” Elgan agrees,

"And then there's the fungus on my toenails"

but then Josh adds that his feet need looking at, too, as he has fungus growing on two toenails. The doctor repeats that he will see Josh after lunch tomorrow.

"I didn't want his feet on the table"

Josh leaves, and Elgan points out, “I had to say something, or his feet would have ended up on the table while we ate our curry!” Garry considers it is a good idea, doing a a few home visits to gain confidence before going back to the surgery.

Gaynor arrives unexpectedly

Gaynor comes in, as her meeting finished early, and, as expected, wants to know how it went. She is told that it went well,

"Josh needs an MOT"

and he is making a home visit tomorrow – “Josh just needs an MOT – I don’t think he’s seen a doctor for years! It will put his mind at rest.”

Josh's curry seems to be popular

Around the table at Maes-y-Deri, they agree that the curry smells very good; “It was very busy there, so I got everyone the special – otherwise we would have had to wait another hour,” Josh tells them.

"Best curry I've ever had!"

Kath insists that this is the best curry she has ever had, and Debbie asks what it is called, as Vicky only eats korma usually.

Non and Vicky are enjoying it

Even Non is very appreciative; Debbie comes to the conclusion that it is some kind of beef,

"It could be goat"

Mark suggests it could be goat,

"But you're all enjoying it, aren't you?"

but Josh says the fact they are enjoying it is all that matters, adding, “Goat, camel, deer – I’m not saying anything, am I, Kath?”

She describes Josh as a wizard,

All of a sudden, their opinion changes

but Vicky and Non have suddenly gone off this curry.

Britt is scathing about Colin's photos

Britt is unimpressed with the photos; “They’re mostly of feet and legs,” she complains, and Colin informs her that it is not easy to take secret photographs,