Cwmderi Diary 2018: 18 January 2018

Chester does not appreciate the singing

Chester grimaces as Britt and Colin sing, “Happy Birthday,” to him;

He is handed all the cards. . .

he is handed a card, and the eight which have come through the post. He is now going to see Hannah, as has a free afternoon. His mother urges him not to be too long,

. . . and likes the sound of roast chicken

as she is making a special birthday dinner, roast chicken.

He is then given some money to buy something special, and is in a hurry to go. Britt is not happy;

"I'm fed up with him and Bryntirion!"

“Bryntirion! I’m fed up with him and Bryntirion! Even on his birthday, he’s gone over there!”

"It's not Bryntirion that he's interested in!"

Colin enlightens her that it is not Bryntirion he is interested in – it is Hannah.

“I think Diane’s keen to have him over there – I think she’s being nice to him just to spite me!” Britt moans,

"We should confront Dai!"

“And you know that photo of Dai? We should confront him – he has to cancel the Dry January scam and pay everyone back!” Colin pleads with her not to do this on Chester’s birthday, but she insists, “This is between me and Dai –

"Phone him and tell him to come here!"

“phone him and tell him to come here. Tell him you’ve got some more brewing tips. Make sure he comes here and then show him the evidence.”

He demands why he should have to do this, and she points out that she has a business to run downstairs,

Colin follows instructions

and entreats him to do this one little thing for her.

Josh sees Non

Josh sees Non sitting on the bench, and says he is glad that she enjoyed the venison curry last night.

"After I forgot what was in it"

“After I forgot what was in it,” she replies. He announces that he has something special for her, and it is the main reason he came back to Cwmderi;

A rather grubby-looking rabbit's foot

he produces a rather disreputable-looking rabbit’s foot, which has been his loyal companion for years.

“I want you to have it – it will bring you good luck in hospital,” but she says she hopes that she will not need luck.

"It's unlucky not to accept it"

He assures her, “This will definitely take care of you – to be honest, it’s unlucky not to accept it. I had an old friend years ago who went to hospital with a burst appendix. I had given him this, but he did not take it with him – he died. Not from the appendix, but a bug he picked up in the hospital. If he’d taken the foot . . .”

"That's a silly superstition"

Non points out quite emphatically that she does not believe in silly superstitions like that,

Josh is left with his lucky charm

and walks away.

Hannah and Chester are off for a walk

Chester is now at Bryntirion, and is going for a walk with Hannah; Dai remarks, “Ah, isn’t that nice?

"Like two budgies on the same swing!"

“Like two budgies on the same swing! Romance!” Diane tells him he can have his present when he comes back.

"Hello, Colin"

Dai has a phone call from Colin; “Yes, we could discuss that,” he says.

"There's a new Chinese takeaway in Cwrtmynach"

Diane tells him about the new Chinese takeaway in Cwrtmynach. He manufactures an excuse and tells Diane that Colin wants to discuss tiles around the bath in the bathroom.

Diane continues that they can have a birthday celebration for Chester tonight, but Dai is more interested in going out to the garage,

"Why are you going out there?"

as he says he has some Oxford Blue tiles which might interest Colin.

Gwen is hard at work behind the counter

Non is sitting alone in the café when Josh comes in; he admits that he should have been more considerate.

Josh apologises to Non

“If you didn’t like seeing a piece of venison, you wouldn’t be too fond of a rabbit’s foot either. Hospitals have changed so much since then.”

She confesses that she does not want to go for the operation carrying something like that, but he has remembered something else;

"This is nothing to do with dead animals"

“It’s nothing to do with dead animals this time. It’s elderflower balm – guaranteed to give you pleasant dreams – use it the night before your treatment.”

"I don't want to rely on luck!"

She insists that she does not need that either, as she does not want to rely on luck.

"All the girls think you're a legend"

Hannah comes in and says that all the girls in the sixth form think Non is a legend;

Non is taken aback

she has brought a card from all of them.

"Your photo is up there with Beyoncé's"

Non’s photo has been put up on the wall, along with those of Beyoncé and such people.

"Britt's not here, is she?"

Dai arrives at the chip shop flat and checks that Britt is not there;

"Always looking to make some extra money"

“You know me, Colin, a successful local businessman who is always looking to make some extra money.

Colin fears that he has started something here

“I think you’re right – with your expertise, we can easily set up a microbrewery in Cwmderi. I’ve been reading about it on the Internet.

"I've brought you some of Mathew's wine"

“Look, I’ve brought you some bottles of Mathew’s wine as well – we need to look after each other, don’t we?”

“I hope you understand that this Dry January business . . . Fetch us a glass each,

"We're going to make some serious money"

“so we can start to work out how we’re going to make some serious money!

"Down the hatch!"

“Down the hatch, as they say, and every success to the Master Brewer.” Colin needs little encouragement to drink some more wine.

"I'm not following you around"

Josh comes back to Maes-y-Deri and assures Non that he is not following her around; “A time comes when a traveller has to pack up and move on –

"I'll be gone by tonight"

“I’ll be gone by tonight, and my silly superstitions. But I want to apologise and wish you well.”

"I want to organise an outing on Saturday"

Mark has just come downstairs, and wants to organise an outing on Saturday, to go to Pembrey or Llansteffan or somewhere; “Walk along the beach, and stop for a drink and a meal on the way home, before we go into hospital.”

"Sorry, Mark, I won't be here"

Josh thinks it is a good idea but regrets he will not be there. He says goodbye and walks out of the house,

"What was that all about?"

leaving Mark puzzled.

Non explains to him

Non explains that he tried to give her a rabbit’s foot and some elderflower balm; she refused to take them. Mark points out that it is his way of trying to help; “He’d better not go now, or Debs and Mam won’t be happy.

"The outing might not be a good idea after all"

“Organising an outing might not be such a good idea after all.”

Two bottles empty already!

Dai and Colin have drunk their way through two of the bottles, and Colin remarks that it makes his eyes water;

"That wine certainly has something!"

Dai agrees that it certainly has something. “I’d better stop or I won’t be able to walk straight, and will have to hide for the rest of the day!” Then they hear Britt’s voice and hurriedly hide the bottles.

"I should have put this in the oven!"

Colin suddenly sees the chicken which he was supposed to have put in the oven;

"Whoops!"

he is rather unsteady on his feet, and the chicken slides off the tray on to the floor.

Dai literally puts his foot in it – squelch!

Dai turns and put his foot on it.

"It's become spatchcock chicken!"

As Britt comes into view, Colin exclaims, “It’s become spatchcock chicken!”

“That’s Chester’s birthday dinner,” Britt rages,

"It might regain its shape when it's roasted!"

and Colin hopes that it may regain its shape when it is roasted. Dai beats a hasty retreat as Britt shouts, “It’s like a rhinoceros has stood on it! What can I offer Chester now?”

"He's going to get his comeuppance!"

Colin blames it all on Dai, and she furiously tells him, “He’s going to get his comeuppance, I’m telling you! Did you tell him about the photo we have?”

"The timing was a bit awkward, Britt"

Colin replies that he did not get a chance, and that the timing was a bit awkward; “What if Chester and Hannah realise that it’s becoming an war between us and Bryntirion?” She warns that there will be a war between him and her in a minute.

"You're absolutely legless!"

“Chester’s special meal has been spoiled – and you’re absolutely legless!” she snarls, as she detects the smell of alcohol.

Chester is amazed at Diane's generosity

At Bryntirion, Chester is taken aback by the birthday gift from Diane – £100 for his driving licence and theory test. Dai comes in, eating mints, and is astounded to hear about the £100.

"We're going to have a Chinese meal tonight"

Diane announces, “We’re going to have a meal from the new Chinese tonight – a lovely spread – they deliver!”

"But Mam is cooking a special meal"

Chester recalls that his mother is cooking a special meal, but Diane replies that it is too late as she has already ordered. He insists that they have to give his mother a chance.

"£100? You might as well have bought him a car!"

Dai is still complaining about the £100; “You might as well have bought him a car!” he storms. Diane is sure that she can smell alcohol,

"Oh no – that's turps on my hands"

but he explains that he has turps on his hands.

The misshapen chicken is dumped in the bin,

"That was a waste of £8!"

as Britt moans, “That was a waste of £8! Thanks to Dai’s great elephant feet!” Colin wants to think of something else,

"All the shops are closed, Colin"

but she points out that all the shops are closed. “I suppose Catrin can have a pizza from the freezer, but I don’t know what you, me and Aaron are going to have –

"We shall have to let Chester down!"

“we shall just have to let Chester down!”

He and Hannah have just arrived, and Britt explains the situation, with Colin summarising, “The chicken fell on the floor and Dai stepped on it!”

Chester finds the situation hilarious

Chester finds it hilarious, and Colin says he will treat them all to fish and chips with all the trimmings.

"There's a Chinese takeaway at Bryntirion"

Hannah says that they can go back to Bryntirion, as there is a Chinese takeaway waiting for them.

"Diane's present, is it?"

“Oh, that is Diane’s present, is it?” growls Britt, and Chester points out that he has been given £100 as well; they leave for Bryntirion.

"She's hijacked my son!"

“Well – what a blinking cheek! She’s hijacked the birthday – and now she’s hijacked my son!” Britt roars,

"They can give us some of the takeaway!"

“We’re going over there – Dai’s spoiled our dinner, so he and Diane can give us some of the takeaway to make up for it! Go and fetch Aaron – we’re going to have a big feed – on Diane –

Colin is not looking forward to this

“and we’re going to enjoy every mouthful!”

At Bryntirion they sit down for their meal, with Hannah extolling the virtues of Black Bean Tofu.

"Crispy Beef – my favourite!"

Diane’s favourite is Crispy Beef. Suddenly there is a hammering on the door. Diane complains about Dai’s flatulence, and the fact that he has been eating mints. He explains that this Dry January has given him some new cravings.

Wine and mints are causing some flatulence

“Well, stop it, or it will be like having a picnic on Krakatoa!” she instructs him. Britt, Colin and Aaron come trooping in,

"We're just having our meal"

and Diane takes exception to their arrival at mealtime.

“That’s why we’re here” Britt replies,

"Dai ruined our special dinner!"

“You must have heard that Dai ruined our special dinner for Chester.” Dai admits that the chicken fell on the floor and he stepped on it, adding that these things happen.

"We've only got room for four!"

However he points out that there is only room for four.

“Don’t worry – we’ll eat on our laps on the sofa,” Britt informs him,

"Look, Aaron, Crispy Beef!"

“Oh look, Aaron, crispy beef! You like that, don’t you?” She makes a great show of eating some.

Josh is taking some leftover curry

Non finds that Josh has returned to Maes-y-Deri, where he is taking away some containers of leftover curry from last night.

"I'm in the way more than anything"

“I have to go – I’m no good to you. I’m in the way more than anything.”

"Mark needs his family around him"

Non assures him that is not true; he answers, “I know family is very important, and I thought I could help, but I always make matters worse.” She argues that Mark needs everyone around him to be happy,

She hugs him

and Josh hugs her.

"I might reconsider, Mark"

Mark comes in, and Josh tells him that he might reconsider; “But it would give me peace of mind, if one of you took this.”

"I'll keep it safe, Josh"

He brandishes the rabbit’s foot, which Mark accepts, saying that he will keep it safe.

“If you promise to stay, I’ll take the elderflower balm,” Non tells him.

Just the sort of birthday Chester did not want

Hannah and Chester do not look happy,

"Different to the plonk you're used to!"

and Diane remarks to Britt that she obviously enjoyed that. She is told that the wine is Sauvignon Blanc; “Different to the plonk you’re used to,” grumbles Dai.

“It’s a shame you can’t drink, Dai!” laughs Britt, “You’re halfway through Dry January.”

Hannah has had enough of this bickering

Hannah tells them all to stop, as they are supposed to be here to celebrate Chester’s birthday. “The nicest present you could give Chester is to be nice.”