Cwmderi Diary 2018: 11 April 2018

Hywel has been doing some Photoshopping . . .

Hywel has been working on his laptop and has produced a photograph of the gnomes at the foot of Snowdon.

. . . with the gnomes at Snowdon . . .

Sheryl wonders why he did not put them at the summit; “With those short legs – you must be joking!” he laughs,

. . . and at the principality Stadium

“I thought of sending this one to Dai – hello from the Principality Stadium.”

Then there is a knock at the door;

He says he wants to talk about Dani . . .

it is Gethin, who says he wants to chat to Sheryl about Dani. Hywel leaves for work, and as soon as the door closes,

. . . but all he wants is to manhandle Sheryl

Gethin’s hands are all over Sheryl once again. She tries to push him away, but he wants to arrange a time for them to meet;

"I miss you so much!"

“I miss you so much!” but she forbids him to come to the house again.

"Only if you agree to meet me this week!"

“Only if you agree to meet me this week,” he replies, and that she says she is relatively quiet on Friday afternoon. He leaves,

He is becoming a total pain in the neck

and Sheryl is glad to have got rid of him.

"I'll bring it in next Wednesday, then"

Outside the garage, Iolo is arranging to bring his van in for service next Wednesday.

"How is Dani coping?"

Garry asks how Dani is, and whether she is coping;

"She's not getting enough sleep"

Iolo tells him, “She’s not getting enough sleep – but that’s true of us all – if one of the girls isn’t crying, the other one is.”

"Checking up on Dani and Carol, were you?"

Gethin comes sauntering in; “Checking up on Danny and Carol, were you?” Garry walks away,

"As long as Dani gets rid of him, once and for all"

and Gethin tells Iolo, “As long as Dani gets rid of him, once and for all, I’ll be happy!”

They employ 'Mark-alienation' tactics . . .

Hannah and Chester hear Mark approaching, so adopt ‘lovey-dovey’ tactics, telling each other that they are the best thing to ever happen to them,

. . . arguing who is the most gorgeous

that they are amazing and cool and gorgeous.

"I haven't had my breakfast yet!"

“OK, I haven’t had my breakfast yet!” complains Mark, but Hannah replies that they cannot help it –

"Sorry, Uncle Mark, we're just so 'loved-up'!"

they are just ‘loved-up’.

Mark demands when they are going to clean up the mess, and requests her to take less than an hour over her shower.

She continues the deliberate annoyance

“Sorry, Uncle Mark!” she replies, in her most annoying tone,

"I'm not your Uncle, right?"

which winds him up even more.

"I'll start tidying"

She agrees that she will start tidying up,

"Give me a cwtch first!"

but Chester demands a cwtch first.

Mark finds this quite sickening, and goes to get dressed; they dissolve into peals of laughter.

"Do you miss the gnomes?"

Sheryl is working on Kelly’s hair in the salon, and asks if she misses the gnomes.

"I had a postcard from Barry Island"

Kelly replies, “I had a postcard – they were in Barry Island, allegedly. I wish they’d go walkabout far away from Cwmderi and the Best Kept Village!”

This must come under the heading of 'stalking'

Sheryl receives a text message, ‘Can’t stop thinking about you,’ and Kelly says that she is blushing.

"You have managed to keep your relationship fresh"

“Although you have had a really hard time, you two have managed to keep your relationship fresh.

"It's so romantic!"

“Sending you mid-morning texts that make you blush – so romantic!”

"You would think I gave her a box of silage!"

Cadno joins Eifion in the Deri, and reports that Eileen looked as if she had been given a box of silage, rather than fresh vegetables.

"Penrhewl's name is on her menu now"

Eifion is more up-beat, as Anita was impressed with the meat and is going to put in a regular order; “They have already put our name on the menu – ‘Penrhewl local organic meat’! That place could make a difference for us –

"Let's celebrate with an early lunch"

“I thought we could celebrate here with an early lunch – we deserve a treat!”

Dani arrives for her viewing

Dani arrives at Maes-y-Deri to view the house. Kath is rather surprised;

"Now that the whatsit has hit the fan . . ."

“But now the whatsit has hit the fan between you and Garry, I was surprised that you wanted to live here again.”

"A lot has changed since you lived here"

Kath emphasises that a lot has changed since the time Dani lived here – a lot of improvements.

“Yes, I can see that from the price!” Dani answers,

"The garden has improved – I suppose"

“The garden has improved – I suppose.”

"It's like a penthouse up there!"

Kath invites her to look at the attic, as they have had a lot of work done up there, and now it is like a penthouse.

"Smile, Garry!"

Behind the bar, Britt encourages Garry to smile,

"Happy now?"

as they are running a business here;

"If I were you, I'd be worried"

Eifion enquires if he is worried about competition from next door. “If I were you, I would be worried, especially with pubs closing every day.”

"But you're not me!"

Garry points out that Eifion is not him, but in reply, Eifion has to get in the line that Penrhewl supply the meat for the tapas place;

"Our prices might have to go up"

“I’m just warning you, our prices might have to go up because of demand.”

Garry is unconcerned; “Good try, Eifion – but if you put up prices, I’ll find a cheaper supplier. No-one cares about organic meat – it’s all hype!”

"People like sustainable organic meat"

Kelly takes issue with him here, pointing out the people like sustainable organic meat, and Iolo agrees that if there is a choice, he will go for the organic.

"People want more for their money these days"

Britt insists that people want more for their money these days; “Everyone’s skint – they want value for money – and service with a smile!” she says, looking critically at Garry.

Kelly and Iolo each order a cheese sandwich,

"Garry's so rude!"

and as they sit down, Kelly remarks, “I don’t know how Dani coped with him – he’s so rude!”

I want to take Tyler to the tapas place

Iolo asks if she can mind Greta this evening; he wants to take Tyler to the tapas place, as he needs cheering up. He heard today that Liv got a prison sentence – five months.

"Tyler did the right thing, didn't he?"

Kelly repeats that Tyler did the right thing,

Cheerful, personal service from Garry

then Garry, with a face like thunder, brings over the sandwiches

He dumps their sandwiches

and plonks them on the table without a word;

"Service with a smile"

“Service with a smile,” says Kelly.

"Oi! If you're tired, go to bed!"

In the café flat, Chester sprawls all over the sofa, and Mark objects; “Oi! If you’re tired, go to bed! Shift, so other people can sit here too – “and I thought you were going to tidy up.”

"There's not enough space here"

Hannah says that that is what she is doing, but there is not enough space here; “It will be better when Colin has built a wardrobe.”

"Have you been fiddling with this?"

Mark discovers that the programs he wanted to record are not on the list, and asks if Chester has been fiddling with it.

"I only deleted a couple of boring history programmes"

“I deleted a couple of things to free up some storage,” in Chester tells him, “But they were only boring history programmes.”

"That's what Ricky and I like watching"

Mark points out that they are what he and Ricky like watching. Chester mutters, “Ricky is such a loser!”

"Oh, clear off to bed!"

and Mark orders both of them to go to bed.

"You're not our Dad!"

“You’re not our Dad,” Hannah replies, but Mark wants five minutes to himself.

"My name's John Marcus . . ."

As soon as they have gone, he makes a phone call; “Good afternoon,” he says in English, “My name’s John Marcus,

". . . I'd like to discuss something with you"

“and I would like to discuss something with you, please.”

Hywel has found a poster

Hywel returns home, having found a poster calling for the return of the gnomes, which he thinks was made by Anita.

"I think it's time they came home!"

“I think it’s time they came home!” but Cheryl is disappointed, as it has been so much fun. “We’ll take them back tonight – in disguise –

"I have some old balaclavas somewhere"

“I’m sure I have some old balaclavas somewhere.” She likens them to a couple of James Bonds.

Sheryl suddenly embraces him

He is about to leave, but she suddenly throws her arms around him;

"There's a lot of fun to be had with you!"

“There’s a lot of fun to be had with you!” he says.

"You're right about the meat"

Garry is looking at the laptop, and tells Britt he has been thinking about what she said; “You’re right about the meat – about people getting value for money on food. I’ve been looking,

"Meat is one for the most expensive products"

“and meat is one the most expensive products we buy – thanks to Eifion! So I’ve done some research –

"Much less than we pay Penrhewl!"

“this company import meat from abroad, butcher it here and sell it on – for much less than we pay Penrhewl.

"We could save a lot of money"

“We could save a lot of money if we used them.”

"They're bound to be dodgy!"

Britt is doubtful; “But this is a warehouse in Swansea docks. Are you crazy? They’re bound to be dodgy! We don’t know what sort of meat it is is!” He insists he is not going to buy dodgy meat, as there is no sense in making customers ill.

"You ask me to focus on the business"

“You ask me to focus on the business – and when I do, you find fault!” complains Garry, “I don’t have time for this now, I have to pick up Gwern –

"You were too busy to help this afternoon!"

“seeing that you were too busy to help this afternoon!”

Dani dismisses Maes-y-Deri

Dani is discussing houses with Gethin; “I think that Maes-y-Deri would be a step back, even with Kath bragging about improvements,” she tells him. He points out that most of the places listed on the iPad are flats,

"I would prefer a garden"

but Dani would prefer a garden.

"Garry's dying to hear you can't cope!"

“Garry has been asking about you,” says Gethin, “He’s dying to hear you can’t cope! That’s why he has to find out that you and Carol are fine!

"Have you had the divorce papers back?"

“Have you had the divorce papers back? Come on, Dani, this is your chance to get Garry out of your life – prove to him you don’t want anything to do with him, you don’t need him!

"He'll trap you once again!"

“We both know him – once he sees his chance, he’ll trap you once again!”

"I can't cope with Romeo and Juliet"

Mark arrives at Maes-y-Deri, and Ricky is delighted to see him; “I can’t cope with Romeo and Juliet a moment longer!”

He does not receive a warm welcome from his mother

Kath is not very welcoming, wondering what he is doing there. “Well, I do live here!” responds Mark, and his mother says that he has changed his tune.

"Please let him stay – for me?"

Ricky urges the pair of them to stop arguing; “Please let him stay – for me?” and Kath eventually relents.

"I've had an offer from an English bloke"

“I’ve had a good offer for the house from an English bloke,” she tells them, “Tomos ac Ellis phoned this afternoon.”

"You should be selling to a local person"

Mark calls this typical, maintaining that she should be selling to a local person. “Well, he’s from Llanarthur, if you must know – not that it’s any of your business – I can do what I like with my own house.” Mark accuses her of having no principles, and again Ricky pleads with them to stop.

She tells Mark to take his stuff upstairs,

"She's not coming back here!"

adding, “But she’s not coming back here!” Ricky suggests that she must be glad to see him back here, but she insists that she is not.

"I just want those papers"

Dani visits Garry; “I’m not staying – I just want those papers,” she tells him, “And I want you to stop asking people about me.”

"I wanted to know you were OK"

He explains that he only wanted to know that she was OK.

He says that everything is fine without her

“Come on, Garry, you don’t give a damn about me! So please, keep your nose out.” He replies that he is too busy to care anyway; he is great, the business is great, and he is much happier now. He suggests that perhaps they should have split up years ago.