Cwmderi Diary 2018: 23 April 2018

Something is on Eileen's mind

Eileen is looking worried; she puts down her cup

She returns to the laptop . . .

and returns to the laptop, where she searches for,

. . . where she does some searching

“Lump in the breast – menopause,” and appears troubled by what she sees.

Apparently there is a special offer at the Deri

Hywel and Sheryl are off to the Deri when they meet Gethin.

Gethin decides to join them

He says that he is meeting Ffion there, and they could share a table. Hywel seems pleased, which is more than can be said for Sheryl.

"How about lunch in the Deri?"

Gethin immediately phones Ffion and suggests that they have lunch in the Deri.

"There's cheap food at the Deri"

Jim is also aware of the special offers in the Deri, which are advertised in the Western Post; Eileen, however, is concerned about the way he stocks the shelves.

"The oldest stock goes at the front!"

“How many times have I told you? The oldest stock goes at the front, and the newer ones behind! We might as well do the same with the cereals, and the cheese – and I’ll put the fresh milk at the front of the fridge, so the milk at the back will ferment and explode all over the shop!”

"We have to be organised!"

He points out that they are only tins, but she reminds him, “They are not just tins, they’re our livelihood – we have to be organised!”

"You're impossible sometimes!"

Jim tells her that she is impossible sometimes, and he is going up to the allotment for peace and quiet.

"And a couple of cans"

Kath, who has just walked into the shop to get her paper, decides to get a couple of cans too.

"I haven't slept all night!"

Anita has not slept all night, but Kelly cannot understand what her problem is;

"So what? Move on!"

“Meic froze his sperm and we don’t know why – so what? Move on!” Anita replies that Meic did this for a reason,

"If I had known . . ."

and if she had known about it earlier, she would have done something about it; “What – like have a baby?” Kelly responds, “You’ve got to be joking! You remember Eira, don’t you?”

Anita says it does not mean the same thing will happen again; Kelly is quite outspoken; “Have you lost the plot or what?”

"This might be what Meic wanted"

but Anita says this may be what Meic wanted. “What about what you want?” Kelly demands,

"Haven't you been on the menopause for, like, years?"

“Haven’t you been on the menopause for, like, years? I can’t believe I’m hearing this – you actually want to put yourself through this again – at your age?

"Being a single mother at 60? That's crazy!"

“Giving birth to a baby – being a single mother at 60? That’s crazy!”

"I'm going to look into having IVF"

Anita is quite adamant that she is going to look into having IVF.

What's this? Another new barmaid?

In the Deri, where there is yet another new barmaid, Ffion and Gethin join Hywel and Sheryl at the table;

"It was very short notice!"

Ffion says that she came as soon as she could with so little warning, and Gethin remarks that he just had to have pie and chips in the Deri.

"We have similar tastes, Geth"

Hywel comments that he and Gethin have similar tastes; Ffion is having salad, as she is trying to lose weight before the wedding. Hywel asks if Ffion knows the big secret about the gnomes;

"What's this secret, then?"

and Gethin explains, “It’s no big deal – they stole a few gnomes from the community garden.” Meanwhile he is stealing lecherous glances at Sheryl.

"What does a man have to do to keep a woman happy?"

At the allotment, Kath arrives shortly after Jim, and he asks her, “What does a man have to do to keep a woman happy? I can’t do anything right in her eyes – I mean, Eileen can be difficult enough,

"This menopause is making her a hundred times worse!"

“but this menopause is making her a hundred times worse! I’ve googled for it – hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia, palpitations, cystitis, irritability!”

"Leave her alone for a while"

Kath gives him one of the cans and urges him to give her a chance, and leave her alone for a while.

"You haven't got much growing here!"

Then she comments, “Good grief, Jim, you haven’t got much growing here!” He replies that he has potatoes, but she sneers, “Any fool can grow potatoes!” He wonders what she knows about growing vegetables anyway, as she just steals them.

"I bet I can grow better onions than you!"

“I bet I can grow better onions than you!” she challenges, and asks what kind of money they are talking about.

Jim has a money-making wheeze

He suggests that if they can get all the village involved as part of the Best Kept Village nonsense, and they have to pay £5 to enter, he could make a decent sum.

Kath maintains they had better get started, but he replies, “First things first,”

"First things first!"

and they open the cans.

"Have you thought of Siôn's feelings?"

Kelly enquires, “What about Siôn?” Have you thought of his feelings?”

"I'm concentrating on Meic!"

When Anita says that at the moment she is concentrating on Meic, Kelly scoffs,

"That makes sense – he's dead!"

“I can see how that makes complete sense – he’s dead! You’re so selfish!”

"He was the love of my life!"

Anita protests that Meic was the love of her life, and Kelly might understand that one day; “What I understand is that the present is more important than the past,” is Kelly’s retort, “You haven’t thought this through!” but Anita emphasises that all she has done over the weekend is to think about it, and her head is spinning.

“The only thing that makes sense is that Meic wanted us to have a baby!” she insists,

"He's not here – and you don't have any eggs!"

but Kelly points out that he is not here, and she does not have any eggs anyway. Then Anita says that there are donors out there; “It would be Meic’s baby, I would carry it, so it would be my baby too!”

Kelly is becoming very heated; “What sort of life would it have?

"A dead father, and an OAP for a mother!"

“A dead father, an OAP for a mother? When it’s 18, you’ll be 78 or 79 – if you’re still here!” Anita screams that if she cannot be supportive, she knows where the door is.

"I won't be there to pick up the pieces!"

Kelly stresses, “Fine, but before you make this mistake, remember this moment – because if you persist with this stupidity, I won’t be there to pick up the pieces – you’re on your own!”

"Sheep manure is much better!"

Kath and Jim begin their competition; Jim denigrates the cattle manure which Kath is using, maintaining that sheep manure is much superior. “I feel sorry for you – you’ve got no idea!” he laughs,

"I there is a suspicion you're cheating . . ."

“If there’s a suspicion that you’re cheating, you will be disqualified.”

"There's enough manure coming out of Eileen's mouth!"

Then he adds, “I don’t need to go to Penrhewl – there’s enough manure coming out of Eileen’s mouth!” and as he turns away for a moment,

Kath purloins his sheep manure

Kath helps herself to some of his sheep manure. “I just don’t know what to do – she’s like Jekyll and Hyde,” he continues, and Kath suggests he could take her on holiday.”

Jim comes to the conclusion that wherever he took her, it would be the wrong place, so Kath proposes that he get a motorhome, then Eileen can decide where they go.

"That's a good idea, Kath!"

He regards this as a very good idea,

"I'll look after your onions while you're away!"

and she assures him that she will look after his onions while he is away.

"The gnomes will have to be there"

In the Deri, Hywel says they have been considering having one of those photo booths, but Gethin says that Ffion thinks that they are a bit tacky. Ffion remarks that the gnomes will have to be there somewhere,

"We'll go shopping for dresses on Saturday"

and that she and Sheryl will have to go to look for a dress soon; they decide on next Saturday, and will make a day of it.

"You can talk about us – don't keep any secrets!"

Gethin comments, “You can compare notes and talk about us then – don’t keep any secrets,”

Sheryl tries to fight off his wandering feet

while playing footsie with her under the table.

"There's an appointment I've forgotten"

Sheryl is quite clear that they have to think about the future now, and manufactures an appointment at the salon, so that she can escape from this meal.

"I've just started looking into the possibilities"

Anita is speaking on the phone; “My husband has died now – I have only just started looking into the possibility.

The fact that she is 60 changes things . . .

“I’m 60 now, but there must be egg donors available.”

. . . in short, "You've got no chance!"

She receives blunt and unwelcome news that there is no chance at her age.

Eileen removes a casserole from the oven . . .

Eileen has removed a casserole from the oven, then she picks up her phone and makes a call;

. . . then phones for an appointment

“Can I make an appointment please? Eileen Probert – I have a lump on my breast – I’ve had one before, but it was a false alarm that time.

"I'll see you then"

“Thank you – I’ll see you then.”

Again he creeps up on her

Yet again, Gethin creeps into the salon and grabs Sheryl;

"What are you doing here?"

“What are you doing here?” she demands, “Ffion adores you.”

"But you're the one I want!"

He insists that it is Sheryl he wants – so she points out that she wants Hywel.

"It's over – I mean it!"

“It’s over – I mean it! Hywel will be here in a minute.”

“You’re enjoying making me chase you!” he tells her, and she begs him to leave. “No, I’m not going anywhere,” he maintains,

"It's only a matter of time until we're back together"

sitting down in a chair, “It’s only a matter of time until we’re back together – what’s the point of delaying it?” Sheryl does not know what she can do.

"A tomcat has a better chance of having a baby than me!"

Anita is sitting in the Deri when Kelly finds her; “A tomcat has a better chance of having a baby than me!” Anita rages, “There isn’t a single clinic in Britain willing to give IVF to someone my age.

"She spoke as if I'd lost my marbles!"

“The woman spoke to me on the phone as if I’d lost my marbles – I feel like I’m being shut out!”

"In the circumstances, it is for the best"

Kelly thinks that in the circumstances, it is for the best, and Anita says that she had better get rid of the sperm now; “I’ll phone the clinic in the morning.

"I want to do what's right for Meic"

“I wanted to do what was right for Meic,” and Kelly points out that perhaps she should do what is right for Anita,

"Another G&T!"

which, at the moment, is another G&T.

"What's the matter with everyone today?"

At the bar Kath asks her what is the matter with everyone today; “It has come to something when Hywel is the best company I can find!”

"Some people's lives are complicated"

Kelly replies that some people’s lives are complicated. Hywel is about to go, when Kath announces that it is her round,

If Kath is paying, he will stay for another five minutes

so he stays for another five minutes.

"I'm trying to support you"

Jim returns home in apologetic mood; “I’m trying to support you – you know that, don’t you?” he tells Eileen, “I was a bit insensitive earlier.”

"No – I've been unreasonable, Jim"

She admits that she has been unreasonable, but he insists that she needs a break, and he has just the thing.

"A motorhome?"

He produces a magazine, and Eileen comments, “A motorhome?” He points out they can go for a holiday every weekend, and France is only just down the road.