Cwmderi Diary 2018: 15 October 2018

In Eifion's overnight accommodation . . .

In the barn, Eifion wakes to the sound of sheep and a dog barking;

. . . he awakens to farmyard noises . . .

he awkwardly sits up,

. . . and peers out at the scene

then looks out of the window,

The farmhand and the farm dog, Fflam

where he sees the farmhand calling for Fflam the dog.

It was an uncomfortable bed

Eifion remembers the good times and massages his aching shoulder.

Sioned cannot wait to get away from Penrhewl

Meanwhile, in the farmhouse, Sioned has completed her packing; Eileen has made a lasagne, a cake and a casserole for her to take with her. Sioned says there was no need, but her mother emphasises, “You’re welcome here any time, you know that.”

"I'm only moving down the road, Mam"

Sioned replies that she is only moving down the road to a flat her mother owns, and asks, “Have you seen my radio?”

"You know, I think Jim took it to the shed"

Eileen thinks that Jim took it to the shed;

"Do you know how much I paid for that?"

“What?” squeals Sioned, “Do you know how much I paid for that? If it smells of sheep, I shall want him to pay me every penny!”

Hywel notices Esther's things . . .

Hywel goes into the kitchen and notices a dish, bowl and cup belonging to Esther;

. . . and loads them into a box

he begins to put anything of hers in a box.

Sioned looks for her radio . . .

In search of her radio, Sioned goes into the barn, and is surprised to find Eifion there;

. . . but discovers Eifion

“What are you doing? Please don’t tell me you’ve been sleeping here.” He replies that he just left a few things there, but she points out that one of them is a sleeping bag; “I’m not stupid!” she says.

"Please don't tell Eileen or Jim"

Eifion begs her not to tell Eileen and Jim, but she warns him, “I need to know what’s going on before I make any promises.

"I know these things can happen"

“I know better than anyone that these things can happen – you need to talk to me so that I can help you.”

"Do you usually work in your pyjamas?"

At Llwyncelyn, Anita arrives to find Siôn still in his pyjamas; he explains that he has been working all morning and thought it would be nice to have an early lunch. When she queries his dress, he informs her,

"Sometimes without the pyjamas!"

“Sometimes I work without the pyjamas!” and asks how her house is, after the facelift.

She says that she is starting to settle in again;

Anita has arranged for them to go away

“You should come over, but not today, because you and I are going away – we need to use the vouchers that Darren gave us – and we deserve a break.”

"It would have been nice to warn me!"

Siôn is rather put out by the fact that she did not give him more notice, so she says she will invite someone else, and he agrees that he will go and pack.

"I might have a few more surprises for you!"

“Good, because I might have a few more surprises for you,” she tells him.

"Don't get me wrong – she's fit!"

With regard to his new flatmate, Mathew tells Rhys, “Don’t get me wrong – she’s fit – so I obviously don’t mind, but I just don’t know her.” Rhys points out that this is his chance, but Mathew goes on, “From what I’ve seen, she’s scary.”

"She's been in prison, twice!"

Rhys enlightens him, “She has been in prison twice – well, one was a juvenile centre.

"Perhaps you'll turn Sioned into Mother Theresa!"

“Perhaps living with you will turn Sioned Rees into Mother Theresa!”

"Sioned – moving in with you?"

Garry happens to be passing at that moment, and expresses great surprise that she is moving in with Mathew.

"Good luck with that!"

He laughs, and remarks, “I suppose this is what they call karma! Good luck!”

"She might want more than a flatmate"

Rhys reiterates what Mathew said, that she is fit, and if he is lucky, she might want more than just a flatmate.

"That's the last thing I want"

“That’s the last thing I want,” Mathew admits, “It took me a really long time to get over what happened with Dani – I’m not ready. That was a bit dramatic – but I don’t want a girlfriend.”

Rhys continues his run

Rhys advises that he should make that quite clear, as he does not want to get on the wrong side of her.

"People will have something better to talk about next week"

In the barn, Sioned says, “I’ve been in your shoes many times – people will have something better to talk about next week, and you can get on with your life.”

"This isn't how it was meant to be"

Eifion laments, “I don’t want to live like this – this isn’t how it was meant to be,” but she points out that it was bound to come out in the end. He continues, “I’m more than just that – before anything else, I’m a father and a farmer.”

Sioned assures him that her Mam and Jim are angry about Cadno;

"I've lost everything!"

he pleads, “Don’t they think I’ve suffered enough? I’ve lost everything – I don’t know who I am any more – Penrhewl is the only thing that makes me feel like me.”

"Perhaps this place is the problem"

She diagnoses that perhaps this place is the problem; this is his chance to start again without any secrets. He maintains he does not want things to change, but to be back as they were. “Things have changed already – and you can’t turn the clock back,” she reminds him, adding, “You haven’t lost everything, anyway – the boys still need their father.

He is told to sort himself out

“Sort yourself out for their sake!”

Again he begs her not to tell anyone that he has been staying here, and she agrees not to say a word;

"Find somewhere else to sleep, before you freeze!"

“But find somewhere else to sleep tonight, before you freeze!”

"Does this look like a radio that should be kept in a shed?"

She sees the radio, and snarls, “Does this look like a radio that should be kept in a shed? It's covered in mud now – they can forget about this month’s rent!”

A far-reaching view across the Bristol Channel

Anita has taken Siôn to a waterside property overlooking the Bristol Channel;

"Look at this, Siôn!"

“Look at this – and the view!” she enthuses,

"Are we staying here?"

and he asks if they are staying here. “Not tonight,” she replies, “But we could stay here every holiday, if you want.

"I want us to buy this as a holiday home"

“I want us to buy this place together as a holiday home.”

Siôn does not share her enthusiasm;

"You're not serious, are you?"

“You’re not serious, are you?”

Anita urges him to look at it first

She urges him not to say a word until he has seen it properly.

"She'll be missing her toys"

Rhys arrives home to find his father packing the things into boxes; “She’ll be missing her toys,” Hywel says, and Rhys remarks that he cannot even say her name.

"Don't make this more difficult!"

“Don’t make this more difficult – I can’t go through this again!” Hywel sighs.

"Let's pretend she never existed!"

“No, you’re right – lets get rid of everything – pretend she never existed! Is this how you got rid of my stuff, when you dumped me with Gran? Why don’t we burn everything? We don’t want her any more!” This causes Hywel to think.

Rhys adds the toys to the box

Up in her bedroom, Rhys gathers together all Esther’s cuddly toys to put in the box, but Hywel protests that it is his place to do that.

Hywel looks at the picture

He is shown a picture of the three of them, and Rhys growls, “You’re not her father any more!”

"I want my life back, Rhys!"

Hywel looks at the picture, sits on the bed and confesses, “I can’t do this! I want my life back, Rhys!

"How did this happen to us?"

“How did this happen to us?”

"I have the room the way I want it"

Sioned brings all her luggage into the shop flat, and Mathew says she will never fit everything in, as he has the living room the way he wants it.

Sioned is determined to change that

“I don’t want to live in Mam’s and Jim’s time machine, so I’m taking a lot of this back to Penrhewl!” she informs him.

"Why don't we get to know each other better?"

“Why don’t we get to know each other better?” Mathew suggests, and she looks at him rather askance.

"Why didn't I just forgive Sheryl?"

Hywel continues, “Why didn’t I just forgive Sheryl? I miss her so much. I thought I’d hate her, but I don’t – I still love her – but I can’t raise Esther without her.”

"You must do it – for Sheryl!"

Rhys argues that of course he can, and must do it for Sheryl – in her memory.

"How do I tell Esther it was my fault?"

“What do I tell Esther when she asks what happened to her mother? How do I tell her it was my fault?”

"It was Gethin who killed Sheryl!"

Rhys points out that Gethin killed Sheryl, but his father goes on, “If we hadn’t quarrelled that night – if I’d forgiven her.”

"If she hadn't jumped into bed with Gethin"

Rhys reminds him, “If she hadn’t jumped into bed with Gethin – if you hadn’t found out – you can’t live your life, dwelling on ‘what ifs’!”

"I cannot cope with raising her"

Hywel clearly states that he cannot cope with raising Esther without Sheryl, but Rhys tells him that she could face being raised in care.

“No, I’d make sure that doesn’t happen to her!” Hywel insists,

"You will lose any parental rights"

but Rhys wonders how he would stop it, as he will lose any parental rights he had, and the other option is to leave her with Julie – for Esther to have the same upbringing as Sheryl had.

“I forgave you for leaving me with Gran, because I thought you regretted it, but you’re doing it again – this is no different – it’s exactly the same.

Rhys' argument is getting through to Hywel . . .

“Are you really going to make a stupid decision and spend the next ten years regretting it? Because, unlike me, she might not understand!”

. . . as he studies the picture

Hywel sits and studies the picture, as Rhys assures him that he is not alone; “Esther is my sister – I want to help,” and his father thanks him.

"Imagine having a glass of wine out here"

Back on the coast, Anita says, “Imagine us having a glass of wine out here,” but Siôn points out that no locals would want to be friends with them. She goes on, “I was thinking more about family and people we know – Arwen and Greta would love it here.”

Siôn is antagonistic towards holiday homes

Siôn makes it very clear that he has always been against the idea of holiday homes, but she insists that they are Welsh people buying a place in Wales.

"What happens when we're not here?"

“What happens when we’re not here?” he asks, and she replies that they could rent it out to holidaymakers.

"We could make £400 a week in the summer"

“I like the fact that you have principles, but we could make £400 a week for this place in the summer.” He demands how this affects the local people, and she explains that people staying here will spend money in the village.

"People like us stealing their homes"

Siôn adds, “And in the winter, when we’re not here and the house is empty? It’s no wonder local people have to leave their communities, if people like us steal their homes.”

Anita admits defeat . . .

Anita can see that they are not going to agree,

. . . and they head towards the hotel

and suggests that they go to the hotel.

Eifion is looking for employment

Eifion comes to the Deri and tells Garry that he is looking for work; “I’m sure you need help behind the bar. I’ve worked in a bar before, and I know all the locals.”

"That's hardly a positive, is it?"

Garry is not sure that can be considered to be positive; “Our track record working together isn’t fantastic, is it?

"A pint is all I can offer you"

“A pint is the only thing I can offer you today.”

"Well, I don't have anything better to do"

Eifion groans that he has nothing better to do.

Sioned oversees the furniture moving

Sioned is supervising the moving of the furniture, and decides that they need to discuss the bathroom; “Don’t tell me – you want me to move the toilet!” Mathew groans,

"I always want the toilet seat down!"

but she emphasises that she always wants the toilet seat down.

“And we also need to make a cleaning rota,” she says;

"I don't want you stealing my food!"

he stipulates that he does not want her stealing his food,

"There's a shop downstairs!"

but she wonders why she would do that when they live above a shop.

He informs her, “Just one other thing – so that we understand each other from the outset –

"I'm not looking for anything – just a flatmate"

“I think you’re really attractive, but after everything that went on between me and Dani, I’m not looking for anything, just a flatmate.”

"You and me? You've got to be joking!"

Sioned is very amused at the very idea she might be interested in him.

Eifion leaves the Deri . . .

Eifion comes out of the Deri, looking depressed, and meets Eileen; “Oh, you’re still here, are you?” she sneers,

. . . and is ambushed by Eileen

“I thought you would be with your boyfriend. How do you sleep at night, after what you did to Cadno?” He replies that he does not sleep, if that makes her happy.

She continues, “What would make me happy is having Cadno and the boys back in Cwmderi,

"That won't happen with you around, will it?"

“but that won’t happen with you around, will it? Did you even consider her feelings? And did you care about Bobi and Arthur, or was it only about what you wanted?”

"Don't you think I've suffered enough?"

“Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough? I’ve lost everything,” he replies, but Eileen exclaims that is exactly what he deserves.

"I'll make sure you're never happy here again!"

As he walks away, she shouts after him, “After everything you’ve done to Cadno, I’ll make sure you’re never happy here again!”

“I remember when you first told me about Esther,” says Rhys,

"I knew you weren't happy about it"

and his father knew that he was not happy about it; “I wanted to be supportive, but I was scared, I suppose. It took years for us to have the relationship we have now – being close as father and son, and as friends.

Rhys worried that another child would spoil their relationship

“I was worried another child, especially a girl, would change all that.”

"I'd never let that happen"

Hywel assures him that he would never allow that to happen; “And Esther?” he asks.

"It's impossible not to like her"

Rhys says he tried his best not to like her, but it is impossible. “You probably hated me when you were growing up,” says Hywel, but Rhys does not think he knew his father well enough to feel anything.

Hywel wishes he could turn the clock back, but is told, “I’m just glad that you won’t make the same mistake again.”

"I promised Sheryl I'd repaint this room"

Hywel is grateful to his son for changing his mind, and considers that the room could do with a coat of paint before Esther comes back. “I promised Sheryl I would do it, and I’m sure the paint is downstairs somewhere – are you free tonight?”