Cwmderi Diary 2018: 12 July 2018

"We're going to be late"

Tyler is doing some ironing when Iolo arrives home, and is told that they are going to be late; “Are we supposed to teleport ourselves to Swansea?” he demands.

"Change of plan – we're meeting in the Deri"

Iolo informs him that apparently there has been a change of plan, and Alun is in the area, so they are going to the Deri instead;

"Has he got a local boyfriend?"

Tyler wonders why he is around here – perhaps he has a local boyfriend, but Iolo points out that he is going out with that John bloke, and is sure that Tyler will get on with Alun.

"Look at all this muck on my hands!"

Eifion comes into the shop, moaning as usual, “I don’t think we should deliver to Pen Clawdd Uchaf any more – there were four gates, all covered in dung!” Cadno replies that they do not have much choice, while they are still finding their feet, and warns him that these things take time.

Do you have any champagne?"

Alun comes into the shop, asking if they have any champagne; “It’s not a special occasion – I’m just out to impress.”

He selects a presentation bag

He also wants one of those fancy bags to put it in,
and Cadno wishes that she had something to celebrate.

"Colin, are you free for a while?"

When he leaves she picks up her phone, and wants to know if Colin is free for a while.

"I've been chucked out of the flat!"

Sioned comes marching into Penrhewl, complaining that she has been chucked out of the flat; “Sheryl thinks her rights are more important than mine, because she’s got Esther!

"She can't do that"

“She’s moving back into the flat.”

"Well, I thought they might last three months!"

Jim comments that he thought Hywel and Sheryl might last three months; “I can’t believe it, after all that’s happened to me,” wails Sioned, “And I could really do with a cup of tea.” Jim replies that she will have to make it herself, as they are off for the 20 week scan.

"I'll be last in the pecking order"

“That’s how it’s going to be now – I’ll be last in the pecking order,” groans Sioned.

"Perhaps you'll realise how selfish you can be!"

As he leaves, Jim comments, “Perhaps, one day, you’ll realise how selfish you can be – in the meantime, grow up!”

There is not much in the fridge . . .

Eifion looks in the fridge to find very little food,

. . . but Cadno is taking him out for lunch . . .

but Cadno informs him that she is taking him out for lunch, to celebrate being in the shop for a month.

. . . and a few pints before the boys get back

“Colin’s here, so I’m taking you for lunch and a few pints before the boys get back.”

Josh is having a café breakfast

Josh is tucking into his breakfast in the café when Siôn comes in, and tells him that he cannot stop thinking about the story of the old relic which is passed from one generation of gypsies to the next.

"It would make a good item for Cwm Ni"

“It would make a good item for Cwm Ni, the community newspaper. I would really appreciate your time, and we could start now with a few photos.

"Shall we go to the caravan?"

“Shall we go to the caravan – striking while the iron is hot, so to speak?”

"Kath is coming over this afternoon"

Josh is not keen, and says that Kath is coming over this afternoon,

"That's all right – she can join us"

but Siôn replies that she can join them. Josh wants an hour to clean up the place, and then settles down to eat his meal.

"How much longer do we have to wait?"

In the hospital waiting room Jim is becoming impatient;

"We want to be left in peace!"

then Sioned arrives, and he tells her they want to be left in peace, but she has come to apologise.

"I was jealous – I never got to 20 weeks"

“I’m sorry if I was a bit off-ish about the scan – and the baby. I was jealous – I never got to 20 weeks.”

"Stay, then you can see the scan"

Eileen invites her to stay, and she can see the scan of her brother or sister; “Of course we don’t mind – you’re family, aren’t you?” Jim goes to refill Eileen’s water bottle,

Sioned sits down by her mother

and Sioned settles down beside her mother.

Tyler is introduced to Alun

Iolo and Tyler arrive in the Deri, where they find Alun; he is introduced to Tyler. “You’re not how I imagined you,” says Alun,

"Considering you have to put up with him!"

“You look too well, considering you have to put up with him!” He presents them with the champagne as a belated wedding present.

"Are you seeing someone local?"

Tyler begins asking questions about why Alun is in Cwmderi, and whether he is seeing someone local.

"I had business in Cwrtmynach"

He replies, “I had business in Cwrtmynach, and I wanted a break from Swansea.

"I'm sure I've got a stalker"

“I may be paranoid, but I’m sure I’ve got a stalker – a car has been parked outside the house at odd times of the day – it made me a bit nervous.” Tyler smiles knowingly, as Alun says it is not worth reporting it to the police, they would not take him seriously; Iolo warns him to be careful, as there are some dangerous people about.

Cadno and Eifion come in . . .

At that moment, Cadno and Eifion come in for their meal,

. . . and Tyler predicts this could be awkward

and Tyler immediately notices.

"We can't wait all day!"

Eileen is still waiting for her scan, and Jim complains that they cannot be expected to wait all day. Sioned offers to go, but her mother forbids her,

"What is wrong with you, Jim?"

and wonders what is wrong with Jim. “That old cow over there,” he answers, pointing at the nurse,

"She thought we were the grandparents!"

“She said how nice it is that grandparents can be part of the process! She thought that Sioned’s the one who’s pregnant.”

"You'll have to get used to hearing that"

Sioned warns him that he will have to get used to hearing comments like that.

"Eileen Probert"

The nurse calls Eileen’s name,

"Come on, Grandad, it's our turn now"

and she says, “Come on, Grandad, it’s our turn now!”

Eifion needs to visit the gent's

At the bar, Eifion tells Cadno he will be back in a moment,

Alun insists he will buy the meal

then Alun insists he will buy the meal, three steaks, and goes to the bar.

"You're weird and embarrassing, Tyler"

Iolo tells Tyler that his behaviour is weird and embarrassing. Tyler then admits that he has not been totally honest;

"The stalker – it's me"

“The stalker – it’s me. I was jealous and I wanted to know what type of man he was. I saw him kissing someone he shouldn’t be kissing –

"Someone who is here with Cadno!"

“someone who is here with Cadno!”

"Oh, hello again"

At the bar, Cadno greets Alun again, telling him that he is responsible for her bringing out her boyfriend for a treat. At this point, Eifion returns from the gent’s,

"John, this is a nice surprise!"

and is greeted with, “John, this is a nice surprise!”

Cadno corrects him that this is her boyfriend, Eifion,

"I know – the rugby pitch, years ago"

who quickly improvises that Alun’s face seems familiar somehow. “I know – the rugby pitch, years ago – I’ve got a memory like an elephant.” He takes Cadno to a table.

Iolo demands why he was not told about this earlier,

Alun looks as if he has seen a ghost

and Alun returns to their table, looking very deflated.

"He's had one knock too many on the rugby pitch"

Eifion spins a tale to Cadno that he is a right weirdo; “He’s had one knock too many on the rugby pitch, if you ask me – I mean – John!” He hopes that she believes him.

Kath and Siôn wait for Josh . . .

Kath and Siôn wait outside the caravan,

. . . who has been delayed

then Josh comes round the corner; as he pulls out his keys to open the caravan door, a piece of paper flutters from his pocket, and Kath picks it up.

Kath picks up the £1.50 till receipt

It is a till receipt for £1.50 from Apêl Maenan.

Siôn takes some photos of the interior of the caravan, while Kath enquires where exactly this relic is located;

Josh takes out his 'precious relic'

he pretends to extricate a small china box from a cupboard.

"That piece of tat is a relic?"

“That piece of tat is a relic?” Kath says sceptically, and he points out that it is the finest china;

"It's older than 1910"

his father was born in 1910, so it is older than that.

"It must have a fantastic story"

Kath strings him along, “Something as special as this must have a fantastic story.”

Josh is off in the realms of fantasy . . .

Josh replies that it is not the pot itself; “It means a lot to me because my father kept his best tobacco in it. It was his special treat, once we’d all gone to bed. I remember, those were the happiest days of my life, being tucked up in bed and my father outside, smoking his rollies, and singing old Romani songs.”

. . . Siôn believes every word of it . . .

Siôn has been totally taken in by this, and exclaims that the dish is a relic that holds a treasure trove of stories, but Kath can hardly keep a straight face.

. . . and takes a photo, for Cwm Ni

Siôn takes a photograph of Josh, holding his precious relic.

Eifion appears to have suddenly gone off his food . . .

In the Deri, Eifion is only toying with his meal, giving the excuse that it is too salty.

. . . and Alun is afflicted in the same manner

Similarly, Alun seems to have lost his appetite, and apologises,

"It's understandable in the circumstances"

but Iolo tells him that it is understandable, in the circumstances.

"I really thought that 'John' was the one"

Alun says, “I really thought that ‘John’ was the one – married men know how to hide it.” He is told that Eifion and Cadno are not married, but have two sons.

Alun agonises that it is not fair,

"It will be easier to talk at the house"

and Iolo can sympathise with his predicament; Tyler suggests that they go back to the house as it will be easier to talk there.

"Have you played against him more than once?"

When they leave, Cadno comments that he could have said goodbye, and enquires whether Eifion has played rugby against him more than once;

"You come across all kind of weirdos on the rugby pitch"

he tells her, “You come across all kinds of weirdos on the rugby pitch.” Cadno cannot remember him getting into a fight during a game, but he says it was years ago, and anyway he would not to to admit to fighting.

“I don’t know what goes on between you men –

"I hope it's all behind you"

“I hope it’s all behind you,” she says.

"I don't have anything from that generation"

Siôn is envious; “I don’t have anything from that generation – I think my father invented the phrase ‘clutter-free’!”

"I can feel the enchantment of the forefathers"

He holds the so-called relic, and imagines that he can feel the enchantment of the forefathers. He leaves quite happily.

"So they sell 'the enchantment of the forefathers' at Maenan, then"

Kath remarks, “They sell all kinds of stuff in Apêl Maenan, even enchantment of the forefathers!” handing him the receipt.

"Who am I to shatter their dreams?"

“I get it all the time,” he replies, “People want to relive the romance of the gypsies – who am I to shatter their dreams?”

Sioned studies the scan photos

On the kitchen table at Penrhewl, Sioned is studying the scan photos,

"I should have considered what you're going through"

and Eileen admits she should have considered what her daughter was going through.

"I really am happy for you and Jim"

Sioned is just glad that she and baby are healthy; “I really am happy for you and Jim – this way I can have all the hugs, while you and Jim do all the hard work of bringing him or her up.”

“There is another option, now that you’re homeless,” begins Eileen,