Cwmderi Diary 2018: 13 February 2018

Kath is being very irritating

Kath is still fussing over Mark, and getting on his nerves; Debbie maintains that she would be more help if she did the washing. “Non is coming out of hospital tomorrow.”

"The repeat prescription is ready"

The surgery has phoned to say his repeat prescription is ready, and Debbie is surprised at how many tablets Mark has got through.

Debbie wonders where all the tablets have gone

She looks askance at Kath.

"It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

“Why are you looking at me like that?” demands Kath, and Debbie comments that it would not be the first time. Kath wants her to bring back some eggs when she fetches the prescription, as it is Shrove Tuesday, as she promised Mark she would make pancakes.

"Oh no – I never told Kelly about the pancakes!"

Debbie is very angry, when she realises she forgot to remind Kelly that the café is supposed to be serving pancakes today, and it has been advertised.

"We can have a bit of peace now"

She rushes out of the door, and Kath is grateful that they can now have some peace; “She always pokes her nose into everything!”

Non is all ready to go home

At the hospital, Non is packing everything to go home;

"You've all been so kind"

she tells the nurse that everyone has been so kind.

"Ed's pancakes for breakfast!"

Kelly gets up and discovers that Ed has been preparing breakfast; “It’s pancake day, and you haven’t lived until you’ve tasted Ed’s pancakes,” he tells her, “So go back to bed and I will bring them up to you.”

"I was supposed to open at 8:30!"

When she realises that it is 9 o’clock she panics, as she is supposed to be in the café; “I was supposed to open at 8:30 – Debbie’s going to kill me!” she squeals.

"What if Chester had an accident?"

At APD, Diane is complaining to Colin, “What if he had an accident? Dai and I would have been responsible, as it’s our car! If I had a pound every time that boy regrets something . . .

"I need my head read, Colin!"

and I asked DJ to give him lessons – I nead my head read!”

Something has been tearing open the rubbish sacks . . .

Dai has found some rubbish sacks which have been torn open, and announces that the stray tomcat must be back.

. . . and mice have ben nibbling the bags of birdseed

Diane adds that they have mice in the shop; “This place gets more like a nature reserve every day!” groans Dai, “I half expected David Attenborough to walk through that door!” Then he hears a crash outside, and says, “There it is now!”

"Who? David Attenborough?"

“Who? David Attenborough?” asks Colin, and Dai hurries outside to confront the tomcat.

Kelly hurtles towards the café . . .

In fact, it is Kelly, rushing at break-neck speed toward the back door of the café.

. . . but a bucket of water stops her in her tracks

Dai unleashes a bucket of water, which catches her squarely.

She shrieks at him,

"I mistook you for a tomcat"

and he comes up with the pathetic excuse that he mistook her for a tomcat; “I heard the lid com” off the bin, and . . .’

"If I see you abusing innocent animals!"

Kelly is outraged; “I don’t care that you throw water over me, but if I see you abusing innocent animals, I will report you!”

Debbie's customers cannot get in

Debbie arrives at the café to find it closed, and a queue of people waiting to get in. At that moment Kelly opens the door,

"You should have opened earlier!"

and receives a telling-off from Debbie; “You should have opened earlier!” She hands over the eggs, milk and flour for pancakes, then hurries off to the surgery.

Although Kelly has never made pancakes before, she invites the customers in.

"I only went to APD for a few screws"

Meanwhile, at the chip shop, Colin is telling Ed that he only went into APD for a few screws. “I don’t know how Diane can put up with him – but you never know what goes on between a husband and wife.” Then he stops and tells Ed he do not mean anything personal,

"You look happier than you did"

and remarks that Ed looks a lot happier now than he did.

"Everything is going well"

Ed replies that he is glad that things are finally settled, and everything is going well. The conversation is interrupted by Kelly rushing into the shop, still in her wet trousers,

"Ed, you have to come with me – now!"

and demanding that he come with her.

"I'll keep an eye on the fryers"

Colin volunteers to keep an eye on the fryers in his absence.

Non is still waiting . . .

Non is waiting by the side of her bed, but no-one has yet arrived to collect her; a nurse asks if she should call a taxi, but Non says that someone is bound to arrive before long.

. . . and suspects she has been forgotten

However, she is becoming less confident about this.

Kath disturbs Mark's sleep

Kath wakes Mark with a dish of banana and custard, but he protests that he does not feel like any food;

"You used to have this as a child"

“That’s what you had when you were ill as a child,” she recalls, “Eat it up and it will put some colour in your cheeks. I was going to make you some pancakes, but Debbie hasn’t come back with the eggs – you can’t rely on her.” Mark points out that she is probably busy with the café.

"You don't have to keep fussing!"

“Look, don’t think I’m ungrateful, but you don’t have to keep fussing,” he says; she maintains that is her job, as she is his mother. “You’re not giving me any peace. You didn’t lose me, did you?”

He thinks it wise to eat

but he capitulates, and starts eating his banana and custard.

"Dai got his own back on me this morning"

In the café, Kelly serves Diane with her pancake, and informs her, “Dai got his own back on me this morning – for when people threw stuff at him in the stocks –

"He threw a bucket of water over me!"

“well, he threw a bucket of water over me out the back of APD this morning. Said he mistook me for a cat or something!” Diane replies that he has an obsession with that cat.

“I was sneaking in through the back door of the café, because I didn’t want Debbie to see I was late,” Kelly admits. Diane is very impressed with her pancake, and Kelly boasts of her prowess in making them.

"Look, I have to get back to the chippy, Kel!"

Ed comes in and tells her that there are a few more cooking, but he has to get back to the chippy.

"He's just too good to be true!"

Kelly then confesses to Diane that Ed made the pancakes; “He’s just too good to be true,” she enthuses, “Something’s bound to go wrong.”

"You both deserve some happiness"

Diane tells her that they should enjoy themselves, as they both deserve some happiness.

"Can I smell burning?"

Then she thinks that she can detect the smell of burning, and the smoke alarm in the kitchen goes off.

The customers evacuate the café

Kelly advises all the customers to leave, for health and safety reasons; however, Diane is very reluctant to leave her food.

"The surgery couldn't find the prescription"

Debbie arrives home, after having been delayed, as the surgery could not find the prescription, and protests that she only has one pair of hands. Colin comes visiting; “You look better than last week already!” he tells Mark,

"Where's Non? Upstairs?"

“Where’s Non? Resting upstairs, is she?”

He told that she is not coming out until tomorrow, but he was under the impression that it was today.

"No, look – it says today where"

When they check the calendar, they find that it was today, but Debbie insists that she thought it was tomorrow, and wonders why Non has not texted.

"She never likes to disturb anyone"

Mark points out that Non does not like to disturb anyone, then Debbie has a phone call about the smoke in the café.

"I'll go and collect Non"

In the midst of all the panic, Colin volunteers to go and fetch Non, and Mark cannot believe that Debbie forgot her.

The customers ignore Kelly's entreaties

Kelly is standing outside the café, advising potential customers that the smoke has gone, and it is safe to come back inside, but with little success;

"The frying pan started smoking"

she explains to Debbie that the frying pan started smoking,

"You're a liability!"

and as Debbie describes her as a liability who cannot be left on her own, Ed approaches.

“Your girlfriend is destroying my business!” rants Debbie,

Gallant Ed rushes to Kelly's defence

and he responds rather emphatically that she is lucky Kelly is here to run the business for her, and recalls that she got angry with Kelly last week, too.

“I know you’re busy, but Kelly can’t do everything – you need to start appreciating your staff!”

"Wait until I get hold of that cat!"

At APD, Dai rages, “Wait until I get hold of that cat!”

"This obsession has to stop now!"

Diane instructs him that this obsession with the tomcat has to stop now, and points out that he cannot go round attacking people. He says she is making him sound like Genghis Khan or Attila the Hun;

"It was just a misunderstanding"

“It was just a misunderstanding!”

Then she looks behind the counter and screams;

"There's a dead mouse, Dai!"

there is a dead mouse on the floor, and she blames the cat for bringing it in here. Dai insists the cat has not been in there today, and resolves to go to the shop and buy a tin of tuna, then changes his mind;

"No, sardines - they're cheaper"

“No, sardines – they’re cheaper!”

"I'm looking for Non Mererid"

Colin arrives at the hospital and announces that he is looking for Non Mererid; the nurse says she left, as someone was waiting for her outside, but then Non returns, having left her scarf behind.

"I was going to catch the bus"

“I thought you had forgotten, and I didn’t want to be a nuisance, so I was catching the bus – it stops outside,” she tells him.

"There was a catastrophe at the café"

Colin assures her that they cannot wait to have her back; “Debbie was on her way, but then there was a catastrophe at the café.

"Right, I'll take you home"

“Right, I’ll take you home!”

"I'm a walking disaster!"

Kelly feels depressed; “Let’s face it – I’m a walking disaster!” she wails, “Everything I do goes wrong! Do you know any other woman who’s been mistaken for a tomcat?”

"Puss, puss, puss"

They look across the road and see Dai, outside APD, carrying a saucer of sardines, and calling for the cat.

As he entices the cat with fishy treats . . .

“As he says, “Pussy, pussy, fishy, fishy,” Ed picks up a convenient bucket of water,

. . . he receives the wet-trouser treatment

and drenches Dai’s trousers with it.

"That's what you get for chasing innocent animals!"

“Now you know how it feels!” Ed tells him, and Kelly says that is what he gets for chasing innocent animals. Dai is adamant that he wants the cat as a pet,

"I want it to get rid of the mice in APD"

to get rid of the mice in APD.

"Oh, being cruel to mice, too?"

“Oh, so you’re being cruel to mice, too!” Kelly squawks, and he roars that they are vermin.

"Enjoy your sardines!"

Kelly hopes that he enjoys his sardines, then she and Ed leave.

"Lucky that Colin turned up when he did"

At Maes-y-Deri Mark and his mother agreed it was lucky that Colin turned up when he did; “How could Debbie forget that Non was coming home today?” he demands, but Kath points out that they all forgot, and that Debbie has a lot on her plate.

Debbie is rather subdued

When she comes back, Debbie is in a very subdued mood;

"Sorry I was a bit harsh on you"

Mark concedes that he may have been rather harsh with her, but he did not like the thought of Non waiting for them on her own – he judges that Debbie has too much on her plate.

"Mam can help you out in the café"

He suggests that his mother could help in the café in the afternoon while Debbie is at home; “It makes sense to share the burden. You’re not working a lot at Awyr Iach, so you can help in the café.”

"That would take a lot of pressure off"

Debbie agrees that it would take a lot of pressure off her, but then Non and Colin arrive.

The banner welcomes Non home

She smiles when she sees that the ‘Welcome Home Mark’ banner has been amended to read “Welcome Home Non’.

Kelly seems happier now

When they arrive back at number 10, Kelly is looking much happier, and says that Dai deserved it; “That is exactly what I needed after today!” Then they hear the sound of a cat,