Cwmderi Diary 2018: 14 March 2018 (1st)

Kath appears to suspect Colin of something

At Awyr Iach, Kath is staring at the advertisement with Colin’s photo on it; DJ is surprised that she appears to have a crush on Colin.

"You're obsessed with Colin!"

“You’re obsessed with him or something!”

"And you're obsessed with your phone!"

She replies that DJ appears to be obsessed with his phone, and asks who is texting. He is pleased that the message appears to come from Non.

Hannah seems to have a lot of belongings

At Bryntirion, Colin and Dai struggle downstairs with more of Hannah’s belongings. “I didn’t realise she had so much stuff,” Colin complains,

"Right, Col, time for a cup of tea"

and Dai reckons that they need a cup of tea now. “I don’t know how she is going to fit all that in Chester’s room,” Colin goes on.

"What do you think of this marriage nonsense?"

“What do you think of this marriage nonsense?” asks Dai, and Colin replies that it will ensure they stay in Cwmderi, which is all that matters.

"There won't be any peace while Diane is around"

Dai says that Bryntirion is like a graveyard now that Hannah has gone, but he will not get any peace while Diane is around. “It will be weird without them,

"Don't you dare tell them that!"

“but don’t you dare tell them that!”

Colin suggests they exchange accommodation . . .

Colin has a suggestion; that Dai and Diane could move into the chip shop flat, and he and Britt, with all the others, could live at Bryntirion.

. . . which makes Dai laugh

That idea is immediately described as a non-starter.

"Llewelyn, I've got some tuna for you"

In the back street, Megan, armed with some tuna, opens the back gate of number 10,
but is surprised to see Kelly,

Kelly is on the lookout

who shouts, “Have you come here to try and snatch Catatonia?”

"I've got every right – he's mine!"

“His name’s Llewelyn, and I’ve got every right – because he’s mine!” is Megan’s stern reply. Kelly again stresses that she has no intention of returning him to Megan, and giving her a chance to neglect him again. “Go home and take that tuna with you!”

Mean looks about to pass out . . .

Megan is shocked and almost collapses to the ground, but Non happens to be passing,

. . . but is rescued by Non

and insists on taking her to the Deri for a cup of coffee.

Catrin reports on the latest developments

In the canteen at school, Anna and Malan find Catrin looking at her phone; she reports, “Miss has just had a text – we’ve got pictures of him in a Scarlet’s shirt, a Cwmderi shirt

"And this one in a Wales shirt"

“and a Wales shirt. I’m not sure how to reply.”

They encourage her to ask for a picture of him with his shirt off, but she is sure he will not send a topless picture.

"I can't believe I'm doing this!"

“I can’t believe I’m doing this!” Catrin says, as she types.

"Kelly has to give him back!"

In the Deri, Non maintains that Kelly has to give back the cat, but Megan does not know what she is going to do. “If she will not return him, you will have to go to the police,” Non replies,

Megan does not want the police involved

but Megan is reluctant to do this. “To be frank, Kelly is stealing – she is in the wrong,” Non advises, “If you want Llew back, go straight to the station after this coffee – that’s what I would do.

"I have to go to the surgery for a check-up"

“I would come with you, but I have to go to the surgery for a checkup.”

DJ seems quite pleased . . .

DJ is walking past the Antur when he receives another text,

. . . with the latest request

“Hey, how about a topless photo of you?” Across the road, Colin is unloading boxes of Hannah’s possessions,

"Ooh – suits you, Col!"

and Debbie picks up a frilly skirt which he has dropped, remarking that it suits him.

"We've heard about your cross-dressing!"

“We’ve heard about your cross-dressing,” she jokes, and he replies that she is off her head –

"You're completely doolally!"

completely doolally.

Kath is jumping to a conclusion

Kath is watching them from outside Tomos ac Ellis, and looking suspicious.

DJ practises his selfie technique

DJ is attempting to take a selfie when Dai walks in on him; “Crikey Moses! What’s going on here?” he exclaims,

"Why are you taking nude pictures of yourself?"

“Why are you taking nude photos of yourself?”

"It's only a bit of fun"

DJ corrects him that they are only semi-nude, and admits, “I’ve met this woman online, and she wanted a photo of me with my shirt off –it’s a bit of fun, that’s all.” He will not give the identity of the lucky girl.

"I'll take a few proper photos"

Dai appears to be wholeheartedly in favour of the idea, and will take a few proper photos for him.

"Flex those muscles!"

“Come on, DJ – take it off!

"Show me what you've got, Charles Atlas!"

“Show me what you’ve got, Charles Atlas!”

Colin's quiet pint is interrupted

Colin is having a pint in the Deri when Kath walks in; he says that he has been shifting Hannah’s stuff into the madhouse.

"I saw you messing around with Debbie"

“I saw you messing around with Debbie earlier,” she remarks, “You looked to be quite close there – so how close is close? I heard you were more than friends at one time.”

"We did have a drunken snog once, years and years ago"

Colin replies, “Listen, perhaps we did have a drunken snog once, years and years ago, but it was nothing. Mark and Debbie were not even an item at the time. You don’t really think something is going on between us? Mark is one of my best friends!”

"Meic used to be you best mate as well . . ."

Kath reminds him that Meic used to be his best mate as well; “But that didn’t stop you having an affair with Anita, did it?”

"I wouldn't do anything like that to Mark!"

Colin protests that he would not do anything like that to Mark.

"Hell's bells, Kath! What do you think I am?"

“Hell’s bells, Kath! What do you think I am?”

"I have to work in the Deri tonight"

As they come out of the chippy, Catrin tells her friends that she cannot come to the youth club tonight as she has to help her mother in the Deri;

A message from DJ . . .

then another text arrives,

. . . together with the requested topless photo

which they are glad to see includes a topless photo. He suggests that Non sends a similar one back to him, but of course Catrin cannot do that, as her cover would be blown.

Catrin is getting out of her depth here

She is not sure what to do next.

Megan makes a veiled threat to Kelly

Megan hurries into the café, and tells Kelly she has been speaking to a solicitor, and says Kelly should immediately give back the cat to her – otherwise she will regret it. “You’ll be in serious trouble! The solicitor will come after you.”

"With a baseball bat, is it?"

Kelly wonders whether this will be with a baseball bat, and stresses that solicitors cannot do that.

"I'm doing the right thing!"

“You’re trying to scare me, that’s all! I’m doing the right thing – giving Catatonia a proper home, after you abandoned him.”

The argument is getting out of hand

Both their tempers become heated, and attract the attention of John Post and Mal, sitting by the window. “If you want to talk about threats, what about this?” Kelly demands,

"I'll report you to the RSPCA for neglect!"

“If you don’t back off and accept you’re not fit to have a pet, I will report you to the RSPCA for neglect! Just try me!”

Ed is concerned at how this is escalating

Ed, sitting near the kitchen door, shakes his head in disbelief, and Megan leaves the café.

"Want a lift back to the village?"

Dai is heading back to the village, but DJ says he will walk; “We’re going to the Deri after work, as Diane is out with Glenys Pop,

DJ does not seem keen on a few pints

“and we can have a few pints and a takeaway,” Dai reminds him, but DJ seems rather reluctant.

"What if she's disappointed/'

Then he reveals that he has not had a reply since sending the picture: “What if she’s disappointed and didn’t like what she saw?” he frets. Dai is confident that she will love it, and he knows about these things

"I've always been lucky with the ladies!"

because he has always been lucky with the ladies.

"You went too far, Kel"

Ed tells Kelly that she went too far, threatening Megan with the RSPCA. She could not think of any other way to keep Cats; he adds, “Look, I know you love Catatonia,

"Don't you think you should consider giving him back/'

“but don’t you think you should consider giving him back to Megan? He is her cat. Perhaps giving him back is the right thing to do.”

Kelly's resolve seems to be weakening

Kelly ponders on what he has said.

"Can you take Mark on Friday?"

Debbie visits Colin, explaining that she has to meet her accountant on Friday, and does not have anyone to take Mark to the hospital.

"Kath won't be very pleased"

He is only too pleased to do this for her, but does not think that Kath will be very pleased. “Listen, I don’t know how to tell you this, but she thinks there’s something going on between you and me. I’m serious – she gave me the third degree in the Deri.

"She thinks something is going on between us"

“She thinks that something is, or has been, going on between us. She’s obviously been talking to someone about what happened years ago –

"That was ages ago!"

“that drunken snog – remember? I don’t like what she’s suggesting, Debs.

"If Britt gets a sniff of this . . ."

“If Britt gets a sniff of this . . .” Debbie assures him that she will not, and rushes from the flat.

Outside the Deri, Catrin says that DJ has sent loads of messages, asking why Non has not answered, and she will have to send a reply. “What if I say she is too shy to send those kinds of photos, but she loved seeing pictures of his torso?

"You know, pictures of . . . down below!"

“I thought of asking if he would like to show more of himself. You know, pictures of his . . . down below.”

"You're crazy, Cat!"

Anna and Malam call her crazy, but nevertheless encourage her to do so.

All Kath cares about is Mark

“And he’s run straight to you, has he?” snarls Kath, “I don’t care about Britt – I care about Mark.”
Debbie emphasises that there is nothing going on between her and Colin, but Kath will not accept this, and mentions the snog.

"That was about a century ago!"

“Yes, about a century ago – and Mark knows about that – we weren’t even together at the time!” Debbie angrily responds, “Why bring that wooden spoon out now? It’s none of your business!”

"But I know about the abortion!"

Then Kath announces, “Yes it is – I know about the abortion! 18 months ago – don’t you try and deny it. I’ve seen the evidence –

"I've seen your medical records!"

“I’ve seen your medical records!”

Debbie is dumbfounded

Debbie is speechless.

DJ is shocked by what he reads

DJ is locking up Awyr Iach when he receives the latest text, but his face falls when he sees what it says.

"You could lose your job"

Debbie warns Kath that she could lose her job; “I don’t care about the rules,” Kath replies,

"Why on earth would you have an abortion?"

“Like I said, I’m worried about Mark. Why on earth would you have an abortion? You had just got back together.

"Unless it wasn't Mark's baby?"

“What reason would you have, unless it wasn’t Mark’s baby?”
Debbie realises that she suspects Colin of being the baby’s father.

"We agreed to get rid of the baby!"

“I’ve never been unfaithful to Mark,” she stresses, “We agreed to get rid of that baby – it’s between me and Mark!”

"We're talking about my family here!"

Kath does not agree, as they are talking about her family. “Look, neither of us wanted another baby, and that was that, so stop it! And don’t tell Mark you know!

"Mark would be furious if he found out!"

“He would be furious that you poked your nose into our business.”

Dan returns Non's gloves to her

Non collects her gloves, which she had left in the Deri, but on her way out she meets DJ.

"Do you honestly think I'd send a photo like that?"

He snarls at her, “Listen, it’s one thing to ask for a topless photo, but asking for a picture of down there . . . Do you honestly think I’d send a photo like that to you, online?